If you’re just about to turn 30, or you’re single and dating near 30, I’m going to share what you can expect and how you can make the most out of dating in your 30s.
The number one challenge I see singles face is the timeline. Let’s be real, when you’re in your 30s, everyone is getting engaged getting married, and having babies. It could feel like you’re terribly behind. That sends you rushing to find a man, who may be ready to have babies as well. But it’s not a good idea to go in with this mindset, because:
- You show up as the desperate needy person who just wants a hut to find a husband
- You are being in a rush may lead you to attract and settle down with the wrong guy. For me, marriage is a lifetime thing and you can’t just rush into this kind of decision.
I always emphasize it you need to tame the anxiety, stop anxiety about your biological clock. So that you can date in the present and not for what’s going to happen in 6, 12, 18 months. Because other people can pick up on it. And then I know, they do want to commit, men in their thirties are ready for marriage. They just don’t want to be that that checkbox that someone has.
Dating pool in your 30s
The second challenge you’ll find in dating in your 30s is that the dating pool is just a little bit smaller. This is because we start a different life stage in our thirties. It’s when we’re just getting into the first marriage, maybe you’re having our first or second child. A lot of the
family units are still together, it’s not until you get to your late 30s or in your early 40s, where you see a lot of marriages break down and the single predefined increases again.
This isn’t a thing to be alarmed about. I remember, when I was single, I read so many articles about there being a man drought and Sydney when it’s just numbered right it’s not a matter of quantity anyway it’s about quality No need to panic, even though the dating pool is a little bit smaller. Also, you’ll find that you’ll find a lot of single guys on dating apps in their 20s and some in their early mid-30s. Don’t put be put off by it, because men in their 20s may be younger than you, but they might be at the same life stage. They might be ready for a relationship; they might be ready for marriage and kids. You can have a guy, who I called Peter Pan’s, in the mid-30s just never going to settle down, never ever. Than whereas you’ll find someone in their late 20s, who is ready to settle down, get married and have kids like right. So, I wouldn’t shut anyone out always find out what they’re looking for in a relationship. I know you can figure it out in just three dates. So, it shouldn’t take you more than three dates to see where our guys are headed and what his intentions are in dating.
What relationships and dating should be like
Thing third challenge that you come across is you’ve already formed ideas about what relationships and dating should be like. This is the single most common roadblock that I see singles have. Is that they have this idea based on previous references, that relationships are meant to last, they attract the wrong guy long-term relationships are meant for them they can’t hold down a guy. All these things just play up in their mind and what it does is keep them attracting the same situation. A lot of the time we stay single because we’re our own roadblocks. Our past has shaped our current relationship stories of what we perceive to be reality. But there aren’t the men on commitment-phobes, is that the story you’re telling yourself. If you’re telling a story that dating apps suck, then you’ll keep attracting the same thing. To change you’re dating patterns you need to come up with another story, you need to come up with different references. So, if you want a loving relationship that’s nurturing where two independent people just are better together. Then you need to find references for it. Look for other friends, look for other relationships, that you think are healthy and that you aspire to have. Let those be a reality, let those be references.
If you go into a date thinking that all men are and that you attract the wrong guys, then you’ll keep attracting more of the same.
Dating in your 20s
If you’re in your 20s and you’re reading this – great, that’s fantastic, because your 20s are the best time to figure out what you really want. Often, I see so many women make the mistake of thinking that they have tons of time and so they spend time just living their own dating patterns, attracting the same kind of relationships, watching them fail again and again. All these six-month little mini relationships that don’t turn out they add up. By the time you realize that you’ve created a pattern, it’s already in your late 20s. So, if you’re dating new 20s just be cautious of the people, you’re attracting the relationships you’re creating. And if you’re not happy with that have a look and find out where the roadblocks might be, where the challenges might be.
I hope this blog post was helpful to you. Dating your 30s can be really fun, you just need to make the most out of it. The most important thing is to go into it with a good mindset, so I’ll leave you some links I’ve got a mindset makeover a challenge for you.